Taking Weekend Tennis Seriously

USTA’s year-end ratings come out on Monday, December 2nd. I’ll find out whether I’ll have to play 4.5 for 2014 Spring USTA, or whether I’ll be able to compete at the 4.0 rating for next year’s Tri-Level Tournament. 😉

I don’t know what my 2014 tennis fate will be. I don’t understand the USTA rating system, and I haven’t done the research I probably should as a weekend tennis crazy (and if I ever start my research, I’ll be sure to check out what one of my commenters, Clif Render, wrote about it at his blog).

I batted .500 for 2014 4.5 Fall USTA. I played people who were rated 4.5s. I won. I lost. I went to lunch.

But where were my opponents on the spectrum of 4.5 rating land: low, medium, or high? Did I beat the right kind of 4.5s? Did I win enough games? Blahblahblah, it’s all very silly.

Do I still get to be the 4.0 in the upcoming USTA Combo Tournament and have a chance of avenging my loss in the area 7.5 finals? That’s mostly what I’m anxious to find out.

Maybe I’ll be one of those players who gets shuffled between being a 4.0 and a 4.5 because there’s no 4.25 level just like there’s no medium-sized enclosure at the dog park I frequent so I have to take my 40 lb overweight wuss of a dog into the 30 lb and under section and I make sure to avoid looking at the other owners because they’re no doubt giving me the stink-eye and looking at Anna Marie with extreme fear for their 5 lb dogs. Unfulfilled fear, um, usually: she just wants to run and play with dogs she’s not immediately intimidated by and if those smaller dogs simply showed even an ounce of bite, my dog would come cowering behind me…

True metaphor. 🙂

When early season ratings first came out and I screwed over my 4.0 teams, here’s what I was going to write to you, dear reader:

“I’m a 4.5.

Do you know what this means?! I’ll be able to volley now! I’ll be able to hit overheads!! Oooh, maybe even half-volleys!!!

Oh, man, I can’t WAIT to go out onto the courts next and show off my newfound super powers!!!

…wait…what? W-what do you mean it doesn’t work that way?

Oh, no. Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no. This is bad. This is way bad.”

That was my first thought.

Here’s another story:

I ran into a captain soon after midyear ratings came out. We were making polite conversation, and she asked me whether I was going to have a 4.0 Fall USTA team. I told her I had gotten bumped up to 4.5.

She busted out laughing: “No, you did NOT. You are so funny!”

Yeah. That really happened. Inflection and all.

Good night!